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Who Are You? Knowing Who You Are

by Tyrell Starks

Whenever I have life coach sessions or wellness seminars, one of the first questions I ask is, “Who are you”? Most people go immediately into telling me their job title, what college they attend or graduated from, what awards or achievements they have under their belt, etc. While all these things are major, positive accomplishments, those are things that you have done or are doing, it’s NOT who you are. After someone tells me about all their accolades/accomplishments, I respond with the question again “who are you”? Let me explain.

While those things are something you should definitely be proud of attaining, it’s not who you are, it is what you have or am doing. Most people appear confused or even offended because it may seem as if there is some kind of discredit insinuated for their accomplishments. Trust me, there is no disrespect meant by my follow up question, in fact my question is the total opposite of disrespect. Your accomplishments are like the icing on a cake, the whipped cream on top of your favorite iced coffee, or anything extra that may bring feelings of joy to the person who is intended to enjoy you. Now that we have gotten to this point, we have to figure out how to define who we are without over explaining yourself yet still maintaining the same confidence we have when we start telling people what we have accomplished.

The way to start that process is researching different adjectives that may describe the positive attributes of you. ( Ex. I am charming man, who has some clumsy moments in life yet, eager enough to be prepared to learn more of life’s lessons.) Simple yet very descriptive and positive!

Your “who are you?” answer should leave people wanting to know and experience more about you. It’s like your elevator pitch that will intrigue other people to about your qualities. Even if your answer includes a negative word, your acceptance and improvement of your negative quality shows that you are not only realistic and confident about who you are but, you are also aware that you have things about you that are not perfect and you open to working on applying it to your life positively. 

Working on yourself is full of changes and growth but how do you expect anyone to come in to your life and learn about you if you don’t have or know anything about the road map to WHO

YOU ARE! #LetsHeal

Tyrell Starks is a Positive Psychology & Emotional Intelligence Life Coach. He is also the Host of the LetsHeal Podcast

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